5 Things: Bringing good vibes to dei (archive)

OK, let’s get real: I’m sick of hearing about this Robby Starbuck creep and companies pulling back from the Human Rights Campaign’s Corporate Equality Index and DEI more broadly.

Sometimes I want to throw my hands in the air and yell, “Where are the good vibes?” Can you relate? Especially after I read the statement from SHRM (Society of Human Resources Management) removing equity from its diversity and inclusion focus.

As an entrepreneur, I’m used to uncertainty – and sometimes the feeling that I’m hanging on for dear life, especially when so much is out of my control (especially anti-DEI). I’ve trained myself to look for the pivots and the opportunities. I’ve also learned to manage my mind and body because often, the only thing I can control is how I respond.

Confession: I trained Chat GPT in my writing style (by uploading samples) and ask it to draft the article summaries you read below. I then revise the summaries, and two people on my team do the edits. Using artificial intelligence (AI) saves me time that I now use to play pickleball. That’s priceless.

Earlier this year, I refreshed my office decor but I was still looking for a piece of art. I finally found it: “Happy Night in the Gayborhood”, a painting by a queer Latine’ artist who lives down the street and live-paints on Instagram.

For years, I had a front-row seat to witness transformation. I got my first business license in Boston in February 2004 when I started the first wedding planning business in the US to plan legal LGBTQ weddings.

Today begins Pride month and our team has a bunch of workshops coming up (respond to book one!) In our planning sessions, a common theme is people being afraid of saying the wrong thing, of getting the LGBTQ letters wrong, or out of order. So they say nothing and the great disconnect continues.

My son Patrick and I were waiting at a fast food restaurant, that, on this occasion, was not very fast. We were on the way to an appointment and I was growing impatient. Patrick, 13, turned to me and said, “Mom, don’t go all Karen on them.”

The number one goal my clients consistently have for my keynotes is to give people tools to connect with others. What’s the solution to a culture where people shut down instead of opening up?

Belonging is a buzzword these days. Having a sense of belonging is hard. It’s hard in this world, and it’s especially hard at work.

What I know is that I have a hell of a lot of resilience and empathy because of my sexuality. It’s made me stronger and amplified my gifts and my messages. It’s given me unique wisdom.

Not long ago, I was feeling incredibly run down, not exactly sick, but not energetic enough to do my best. I didn’t want to admit my own fatigue and I pushed back a client deliverable with a family excuse. I lied.

Full transparency: my small firm has been impacted by client budget cuts and priority shifts. This has meant our own budget cuts, priority shifts, and a heartbreaking layoff. I’ve had hard conversations with folks on my team over the past 18 months.

That was the challenge set forth by the late great Congressman John Lewis, a legend who fought with Dr. King for civil rights: “Get in good trouble, necessary trouble, and help redeem the soul of America.”

What a good reminder to keep leading with love.

Great leadership qualities are born from oppression.

“When people ask me if we’re going backward [about DEI], I say we’re only moving forward. We’re doubling down.”

It’s a huge advantage when DEI is not part of Human Resources.

How do you officially communicate to your internal and external stakeholders about topics like war, racism, anti-LGBTQ legislation, disability access, and more?

I recently met with a new client, an architecture firm with a vision to help communities build their future. A lot of their work is in historical preservation. In our meeting, the President shared, “When we see an old building, we don’t want to make assumptions about what’s possible.”

I’m the type of person who cries at the National Anthem and, apparently, when Tracy Chapman and Luke Combs performed “Fast Car” at the Grammy Awards.