Why & How to Share Gender Pronouns at Work

A little background

The LGBTQ+ acronym may overwhelm some people and some may even consider it an “alphabet soup” of letters. The reality, however, is that young people (and not just young Americans) are increasingly identifying as not exclusively heterosexual and not exclusively male or female — in other words, they’re identifying outside the binary of gender (and sexuality). About 28% of Gen Z say they’re not straight per 2024 data from IPPM, and about 2% of those ID as transgender, according to Gallup.

More and more young people are coming out as LGBTQ+ — much more so than older generations. The future is fluid.

Although there’s still a lot of work to do to ensure that LGBTQ+ people are protected and feel safe, many organizations are increasingly inclusive of the spectrum of gender at work and in customer service.

Many airlines allow transgender and non-binary people to have a third gender option on their boarding passes. More than 15 U.S. states will issue a drivers license with X as the designated gender. The U.S., Canadian, Australian and other governments issue gender X on passports.

And 35% of those 7 to 22 years old know someone personally who uses gender neutral pronouns to describe themselves, according to Pew Research.

What are gender neutral pronouns?

Traditional gender pronouns such as she/her and he/him are pretty self-explanatory, but many folks who identify outside the gender binary use the singular “they” or even some new/neo pronouns to self-identify.

While the singular “they” may seem confusing, especially for grammar nerds, we actually use the singular “they” all the time. For example if someone left their phone in a conference room, we might say, “Someone left their phone.”

We probably wouldn’t say someone left his phone, or someone left her phone. But rather someone left their phone. We use the singular “they” all the time when gender doesn’t matter.

In fact the use of the singular “they” has become so popular as a gender inclusive pronoun that Miriam Webster Dictionary named it Word of the Year in 2019.

How to share gender pronouns at work to be an LGBTQ+ ally

One of the ways cisgender (that means that you identify with the gender the doctor assigned you at birth) people can be allies to transgender, non-binary, and gender nonconforming people is to proactively share their pronouns in their email signature and other places at work.

It’s pretty simple to update your email signature, video conferencing name, and social media name to include your pronouns. In fact, software like Zoom and LinkedIn allow you to preset your pronouns and Zoom even lets you choose whether or not to share them at the beginning of every meeting.

Sharing your pronouns sends a signal that you are an aspiring ally and reduces the risk of misgendering (or calling using the wrong pronouns or name for someone). Proactively sharing pronouns normalizes the discussion and de-stigmatizes transgender and non-binary folks who often must do this kind of education themselves.

Here’s what this can look like in practice:

How to ask gender pronouns at work

Beyond sharing in email signatures, we recommend getting comfortable with the phrase, “My name is ____ and my pronouns are ___. If you’re comfortable sharing, what are your name and pronouns?”

It will feel awkward at first. Keep practicing aloud with your pet, spouse, child, friend, or mirror to get those words flowing comfortably.

We also recommend proactively collecting pronouns on any sort of form that you use, such as an event registration form or other signup form. That way, you can and then include those pronouns on name badges or in your database, to make sure that you again reduce the risk of misgendering.

What if I mess up and use the wrong pronouns?

You will. It’s OK. Simply apologize sincerely (once), commit to doing better, and move onto the next topic. Don’t put the burden of comforting (or educating) you on the person you accidentally offended. You probably had the best of intentions, yet the impact may have been harmful. Take responsibility.

And if you want to self-educate, check out our LGBTQ+ Inclusive online courses!

How to respond to those who say, “I respect everyone but don’t feel the need to do anything differently.”

You may hear from some colleagues that they’re simply not interested in changing their behavior to be more inclusive. While you may be motivated to educate them, be careful of being self-righteous. Others can’t learn from you if they are turned off from listening to begin with.

Always come back to the organization’s core values and/or statement of purpose, especially those that are people-focused. Remind them that the organization is building a workplace where everyone should feel respected. That means giving all employees tools to be more inclusive of their diverse colleagues.