5 Things / Stories and Data


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This is not the first time my business has been negatively impacted by the political climate. I learned some things the first time, so I’m hosting a free workshop to share these lessons and empower you to speak confidently about DEI. Please register and forward this opportunity to anyone you think may be interested. The replay will be available to registrants if you can’t attend live.

I started my first business in 2004 when marriage equality came to Massachusetts. My business was as an LGBTQ wedding planner/advocate for my clients. At the time our then-Governor Mitt Romney said he did not want Massachusetts to become “the Las Vegas of gay marriage” and began enforcing a racist 1913 law
that banned out-of-state residents from getting married in Massachusetts if it would be illegal in their home state.

Nevertheless, I worked with couples from all over the U.S. who came to Massachusetts. I found one City Clerk an hour outside of Boston who would grant these licenses, 1913 law be damned. I’d take these couples on a little road trip and we’d bond and have lunch and I’d hear their stories. Reflecting on it now, we were rebels.

After the wedding, they’d head back to their home state with no marriage rights in their state or federally. It was years before other states and the federal government started to catch up to Massachusetts, but the battle for marriage equality was constantly in the news. Everything was in flux for years. One after another, states started passing constitutional amendments declaring that marriage was between one man and one woman. Voters were asked to vote on equality at the ballot box. It was disgusting and dehumanizing.

And it was exhausting. It was exhausting knowing my business – and my rights – were at the whim of politicians and voters. I had my first grey hair by 30!

In 2008, I expanded my business and began speaking and writing to educate other wedding, hospitality, and travel professionals on inclusion. The sessions were promoted by making the business case for LGBTQ weddings. I wanted to get people in the door. But I started each talk by sharing how LGBTQ couples were impacted by the lack of protections and uncertainty about the legality of their marriages. I told stories about my clients’ experiences and fears which impacted their wedding planning.

In taking this approach with both stories and data, I built empathy and an army full of wedding and travel industry allies and advocates ready to authentically advocate for equality. Many thousands learned why it was good for business and good for society.

In 2013, the Supreme Court ruled that the federal government had to provide equal spousal benefits to same-sex couples. Two years later, it ruled that states without marriage equality nonetheless had to recognize same-sex marriages as equal. This effectively legalized same-sex marriages nationwide.

These few weeks have me thinking back to those years when all we wanted were equal rights, as guaranteed by the Constitution, and a fair shot at a stable life. Back then, we succeeded because of an army full of allies – and some amazing attorneys. We have more of those than ever. Still, the stakes feel higher this time, as it’s not just marriage that’s for debate, but a more basic human right for body autonomy.

We’re going to need stories to get through this. Stories show our humanity. They prompt reflection. They lead to empathy. Stories shine a light.

What’s your story?

Please join me for a special, free one-hour session of my workshop, Walk This Way, designed to empower you during a time when DEI is under attack. Normally a three-hour deep-dive for leaders, this abridged version is open to everyone looking to confidently defend DEI. Walk away ready to transform good intentions into meaningful influence—even when facing anti-diversity challenges. Please forward this on to anyone you think may be interested.

This Week’s Good Vibes:

  1. Equality Wins for Families and Workers

  2. Beyoncé Breaks Country Music Ceiling

    • At the 67th Grammy Awards, Beyoncé became the first Black woman to win Best Country Album, a historic achievement in a genre long criticized for its lack of diversity. Country music has often marginalized non-white artists, making this moment significant not just for Beyoncé but for greater representation in the genre. Her emotional acceptance speech highlighted the struggles artists face in breaking through industry-imposed boundaries. ♐ There are still many firsts to be had…challenge systemic barriers in your industry and you could become a first.

  3. Goodell Holds the Line on Diversity

  4. Disability Advocates Drive Uber Change

  5. First-of-Its-Kinda Hospital Redefines Disability Care

Good Vibes to Go (look at the DEI Hub Slack for resources):

It’s Black History Month! Buy Black by shopping for a beautiful variety of products from tons of merchants. Buy Black’s mission is “To drive traffic and revenue to Black-owned businesses in order to close the revenue disparity gap between Black-owned businesses and their non-Black counterparts.

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5 Things / Self-Compassion